What if I don't know where the other parent is?

You can still adopt. Not knowing where the other parent is is one of the most common situations we see, and courts handle it routinely: you make a reasonable search, give notice the way the court directs (often by newspaper publication), and the case moves forward. In our experience, about 80% of the stepparent adoptions we've completed went forward without the other biological parent's consent.

Keep a search log

Write down each step as you take it: the date, where you looked (last-known address, relatives, phone numbers, social media, online people-search, the child-support agency), and what you found. Keep returned mail, unsuccessful service reports and any letters from agencies. Note whether you know who he is but not where he is, or whether his identity itself is unknown. Courts treat those two a little differently.

Follow your state's search steps

Florida section 63.088 spells out a detailed list of inquiries and a diligent search. It covers more than social media or asking one relative, so work through the list and record each result. Other states have their own versions of the same idea.

If the child-support agency already tried and failed to find him, that's useful. Write down what it searched and when, and add your own search steps alongside it.

Publication is the routine next step

Once your search is documented, the court can authorize notice by publication. The California Courts stepparent guide describes showing your efforts to identify or locate the other parent. In Florida, section 49.10 generally requires publication once a week for four weeks.

Before paying a newspaper, confirm the notice wording, the publication method, the deadlines and the proof the court wants. Costs depend on the newspaper.

Stay safe and accurate

Follow any protective orders, and you don't need to contact him yourself if it isn't safe. The court or clerk can tell you how to give notice safely. In your affidavit, describe what you did and what you found, plainly.

After notice runs, the case proceeds to the judge on your state's ground for going forward. Learn how consent works or read the Florida publication steps, then use your state guide.