My teenager doesn't want to be adopted — can I still adopt them in Maine?

If your teenager is 12 or older, Maine requires their consent to the adoption (18-C M.R.S. § 9-302), so a teen who says no is a real obstacle to moving forward right now. If your teen is under 12, Maine's consent age does not apply to them, though involving them in an age-appropriate way is still a good idea.

Why teens push back: Their reasons are usually emotional rather than legal, and they can change over time.

• Loyalty: They may worry that adoption betrays, or erases, their other parent.
• Identity: Their name and family history may feel like part of who they are.
• Fear of change: Even a good change can feel threatening.
• Grief: They may still be processing the loss of a relationship with a biological parent.
• Independence: Resisting adult decisions is a normal part of the teenage years.

What you can do:

• Listen first. Ask what the word "adoption" means to them and what worries them most. Their answer often points to a fear you can address directly.
• Be clear about what you are and aren't asking. Many teens fear they are being asked to give up someone. Reassure them that you are not asking them to forget or replace anyone.
• Make it their decision. A teen who feels heard is more likely to reconsider than one who feels pressured.
• Consider family counseling. A therapist can help your family work through loyalty and grief without the pressure of a court date.
• Revisit the question later. Feelings often shift as teens mature, and you can raise it again whenever the time feels right.

Adopting after they turn 18: Maine's adult adoption process is much quicker than a stepparent adoption of a minor. Adult adoption typically takes about 4-8 weeks, compared with 3-6 months for a stepparent adoption of a child. Whose consent is needed in an adult adoption, and how the court handles it, is a question for the Probate Court clerk or an attorney. Many families find that waiting until the teen is an adult and ready is easier on everyone.

Maine basics that apply either way:

• Adoptions are filed in the Probate Court in your county. Maine has 16 counties, and the clerk can tell you about local filing procedures and fees.
• Maine has no minimum residency period before you can file (18-C M.R.S. § 9-301).
• The home study is waived in stepparent adoptions (18-C M.R.S. § 9-304).

If the situation is complicated: If your teen's other biological parent is involved, is absent, or objects, or if your teen's refusal is part of a larger family dispute, how Maine law applies depends on the facts. Talk with the Probate Court clerk in your county or with an attorney about your specific circumstances before you decide how to proceed.

How we help: StepParent Adoption 360 is a document preparation service, not a law firm. You answer questions online, and we prepare the complete court document package for your county. You file it yourself without an attorney, and we back it with a 100% court acceptance guarantee. The price is $349 for the first child, or for one adult adoptee, plus $99 for each additional child. Your court-ready documents arrive within 24-48 hours after you finish the questions.