In this answer · 3 sections
You don't have to personally tell them — the legal system handles notification through service of process. In Virginia, the biological parent is formally served with the adoption petition, which notifies them of the proceedings.
If the bio parent is cooperative:
Some families do have a conversation first and ask the biological parent to sign consent. This is the simplest path and can make the process faster.
If the bio parent is absent/uncooperative:
The court handles this through formal service. A sheriff or process server delivers the papers, or if the parent can't be found, service by publication is used. You do not need to have a personal conversation.
Our advice from 25+ years of experience:
- Don't let fear of the conversation stop you from pursuing the adoption
- Many biological parents are more accepting than families expect
- If the bio parent has been absent for 6+ months, you have strong grounds regardless of their reaction
- Focus on what's best for the child
Stepparent adoption in Virginia at a glance
- Court
- Circuit Court
- Residency before filing
- No minimum period
- Typical timeline
- 3-6 months
- Court filing fee
- $150-$300
- Child must consent at age
- 14
- Home study
- Usually waived for stepparents
- Virginia families we've helped
- 1,181
Adoption document specialists · 25+ years of experience · 34,000+ families helped.
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