What if my stepchild doesn't want to be adopted in Missouri?

This is rare, but it happens — and it's important to handle with care.

In Missouri, children age 14 and older must consent to the adoption (RSMo § 453.030). If your stepchild is 14+ and doesn't want to be adopted, the court will not force it.

Common reasons a child might hesitate:

• Loyalty to the biological parent (they feel adopting "replaces" them)
• Fear of change
• Not fully understanding what adoption means
• Teenage resistance to adult decisions in general

What we suggest:

• Have an age-appropriate conversation about what adoption means and doesn't mean
• Reassure them it doesn't erase their biological parent from their life
• Explain the legal benefits (inheritance, medical decisions, etc.)
• Give them time — there's no rush
• Consider family counseling if the hesitation is deep

If the child is under 14: Their consent is not legally required in Missouri, though it's still good to involve them in age-appropriate ways.

Many children who initially hesitate eventually come around. And adult adoption (18+) is always available later.