My stepchild calls me mom/dad. Should I adopt them in New York?

If your stepchild already sees you as their parent, adoption makes it official and legal. Here's why it matters beyond the emotional bond you already share:

Without adoption, you have NO legal rights:

• Can't make medical decisions in an emergency
• Can't pick them up from school or attend conferences as a parent
• Can't add them to your health insurance (in many cases)
• They can't inherit from you without a will
• If your marriage ends, you have no custody or visitation rights
• Travel can be complicated (passports, crossing borders)

With adoption, you are their parent — period:

• All the rights listed above become yours
• It's permanent, regardless of what happens in the future
• The legal relationship matches the real relationship

In New York:

• Process takes 3-6 months
• Cost: $349 + court fees
• Home study waived for stepparents

The child who already calls you mom or dad deserves the legal protection that comes with that title.